Expectations...!

" We love to expect,and when expectation is either disappointed or gratified,we want to again be expecting."-Samuel Johnson

It was just yesterday that I was sitting in an overcrowded clinic waiting for my turn, when an old man along with his wife and daughter entered the clinic. The man inquired about the appointment at the reception and looked around, realizing that there was no place to sit down. I too noticed that and got up to offer my seat to him. He took it without a word of thanks. He looked as if it was my moral duty to give him my seat as the age was on his side. I did not like it and was surprised mildly at his no acknowledgement attitude. But I was even more surprised the way I felt. After doing something so thoughtful and nice, generally I should have felt nice or happier. But on the contrary I kept thinking of this man as rude because he did not acknowledge my good deed. That is when i realized something.. I did not offer him the seat just of good manners but also with a hidden expectation that he should thank me. When that did not happen it disappointed me so much that it outweighed my good deed..!

"Expectation is the root cause of all heartaches"-William Shakespeare

That's what it is! We keep wondering why? And all the while the answer is too much expectation..! Why is it so? Why is it that every time we have to expect something? Are there no self-less good deeds? In the internationally famous T.V series F.R.I.E.N.D.S, one of the most adored characters Joey says this to his friend Phoebe explaining to her that there is no such thing as "selfless good deed". Maybe it’s true. Every time we may not get something materialistic but at least that "feeling-happy-about-myself" emotion is what we deserve..!

That's what happens to us..! Most of the times we have a self-programmed "expectation manual" built in our system. It functions on default without us "expecting...!" What is dangerous is the results it produces. And the aftermaths...!

So is there a way to stop expecting or expecting less...??? Frankly I don't know. I don't see how we can overcome this problem. But here's what we all can do... We are all familiar with the "Expectation v/s Reality" thing that is popular on the social networks. This thing has perfectly captured the difference between these two things.

The psychiatrists have said that a normal human mind engages itself into creation of perfect scenarios 99% of the time it’s awake..!! We tend to fall prey to our own creation which turns into expectations without us least expecting it. What we have to understand that our expectations are limited just to the creations in our head. The person we are dealing with has no idea what so ever of our expectations.

Sometimes our expectations come true but not in the form we expect them to be...  The package is a bit different. Maybe a wee bit better. Can't say how; but its true a majority of times. It’s what they call "Karmic circle". One of my all-time favorite writer J.K.Rowling says this in one of the "Harry Potter" books...

"Things that we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end,if not always in the way we expect"

 We have to learn to do something despite of what we expect. One of my amigo recently pointed out that i expect too much or at least something of everything and I introspected; only to find out it was true. What we expect is most of the times so different than what we get. But even after that the conscience must be the one to be happy, satisfied, or at peace. If that happens then maybe we can get over our disappointment of not getting what we expect. At the end of the day, that's what matters more than anything.

So the key to happiness is not emphasizing on fulfillment of every expectation. It's as simple as that……