Do not live someone else's life and some one else's idea of what womanhood is. Womanhood is you. - Viola Davis
8th March is
arriving and the entire world is preparing to celebrate
"Womanhood." The day when
everyone sings the greatness of women. As a woman, frankly, I don't feel
special especially on this day. I mean it is as ordinary as any other for me! I’m
sure a lot of women might join me on this. Though it's been said over and over
again that “just one day, doesn’t make a difference. Women are special
everyday…”, I still say it.
Lately, I've started
realizing a few things. These things are a lot related to my perspective of
being a woman. As a woman, certain things are hammered on and drilled down in
our feminine system. This is a universal fact. Regardless of the country,
religion, caste, creed, color you belong certain things are globally common in
all women. The ideologies of being picture-perfect versions of woman are
expected everywhere.
Women are more than often
perfectionists. Our obsession with details is well-known. Women are expected to
be ideal in all the roles that we play. Many times it comes to us very
naturally. The care, concern, love, empathy, etc. have been our natural
highlights. But to add on it there are some newer modern-day names. One of
which is popularly called "Super Woman". Super-Woman is a hybrid version
of a woman who manages household responsibilities in addition to her career. A
lot of women wear this label on their sleeve. There is no reason that they
shouldn't do so.
But what I want to ask
them, "Is it really necessary to wear yourself down to the
bone?" Won't be easier to be just a
woman? Would our greatness be any less if we just focus on one thing at a time?
Is it really necessary to be great? Can't we be ordinary and embrace our
shortcomings?
As we're stepping into a
new decade, the position of women today is marginally elevated than our
predecessors. Yet I keep coming back to this one question. Where did it all
start? Who decided that women are the weaker sex? Anything that has the power
of creation can it be really weak in any way? Then what happened? Why do we
need to be told we are strong?
I remember reading a
story about an elephant. A grown-up elephant was secured to a poll by a string
by its owner. One might question the owner’s sanity. Trying to secure an
elephant by a mere string? But that’s the trick. The elephant stays put. The
reason lies in the psyche of the elephant. What the shrewd owner does is that
he ties the baby elephant by an iron rope. The baby tries to break it off. But
the rope exceeds his power. Eventually, he accepts his destiny and stays
without trying to escape, not realizing that as a grown-up his strength is far
more than what is imprisoning him. It is all in his head.
This story applies to the
entire women kind. The bondages that we hold in our heads are that of
perfection, sacrifice, and of course of being a superwoman. It is not always
the society expects this. In general, women are known to put the interest of
their loved ones before theirs. There are so many leading examples where women
with bright prospects stepped back just so their family members could pursue
their dreams. We all know them and we all acknowledge their sacrifices for the
success of their family members.
Their stepping back was
their own choice forced through circumstances. They had to choose their family
over their dreams. They did so happily and excelled at the task. But I wonder,
do these women miss the possibility of what could have been? Most of the women
that we adore fall in this very category. They are known for their sacrifice
when they could have been known for their talents.
To add fuel to these
self-sacrificing images and ideologies of women, the films, daily soaps, and
many advertisements have also time and again proven their mettle. We have, at a
point, submitted to the idea of “Adarsh Naari” (Ideal Woman). The amount of
work that we put in to become this woman breaks my heart.
Women like Tanya Shergill,
Avni Chaturvedi, Mitali Raj and many more have proven that their gender is
neither an obstacle nor a privilege that they have. They have excelled in their
field of interest and have proven that it is okay to be driven by career and
not have typical female priorities. Their success is the living example that it takes
immense hard work, passion and struggle to reach the point of being idolized
over the country.
Just recently there was
an advertisement for a smart kitchen brand that showed a working father
efficiently handling the kitchen chores and setting an example for his son when
the mother is out late working. It closed with a line that if you want to teach
your son the right things, set an example in front of him. I loved the idea
that was put in to advertise a brand that sold the idea of smart kitchens. A
lot of brands are seen making this conscious effort of promoting women-centric
ideas.
It was some time back
when Mr. Anand Mahindra shared a picture on his twitter handle along with a
post saying that the hurdles women face are way more than those faced by men.
The household responsibilities and their career make it difficult to look after
themselves. He acknowledged the fact that due to these hurdles the women
representation on higher levels is very less.
The most
under-appreciated job played by a woman, in my opinion, is that of a home-maker.
This role plays the biggest part in shaping so many lives and is the perfect
image of “Adarsh Naari." Home-maker women have over and over again
sacrificed their hopes and their lives for their families. Yet they are often
found saying that they are happy because their loved ones are progressing. Their
job is the one that deserves the highest respect and payment in this world,
gets neither.
Why do we do these to
ourselves? Why do we value our happiness less important than that of our loved
ones? Is it really necessary to sacrifice, to be ideal? Even today women are
expected to give up on their aspirations and value the family. I'm not saying
that family is not important. My only question is why are we expected to give
up? Why do we give up on ourselves?
This 8th March
let's do a brand re-positioning of womanhood. Start by acknowledging the fact
that we are also just humans. So it is okay to be tired and let things be. For
it is only when we're truly happy ourselves can we make people around us happy!
This Woman’s Day lets put our dreams, aspirations, and health on priority.
History holds the struggle of so many women who sought freedom from the
so-called bondage of womanhood. The only way to give justice to their struggles
is to keep moving ahead towards a new horizon free of all prejudices that
surround women.
Women are the reason for
life. Break free of all notions and ideas that hinder your flight. Be a woman,
for there is no higher blessing than being one...
